Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
