No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize