your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
