I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
