and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
