I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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