I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
