Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
