if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish you could order shots online.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize