Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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