yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
