it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize