:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
