i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
wow bdsm is so cute
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
