based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
