Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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