I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
