I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Come on in and take your pants off
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