No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
