I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
