Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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