I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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