Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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