I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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