Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
