No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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