There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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