my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
