After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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