# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
