my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
