This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
