is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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