He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
