I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize