my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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