dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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