he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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