I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
