I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
