We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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