i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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