Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
