I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
