Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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