i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
