I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
