I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
