He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
