went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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