New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he fucked my hip out of place.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
