But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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