i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
