Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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