Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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