I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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