I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
