question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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