Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
