He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
