'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
