i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
